Sunday, December 20, 2009

Love Is ____________________?

Is love tangible?
Is it the brush of a hand on yours?
Or perhaps a whisper in the dark.
Maybe it's a mother's smile.
A father's approval.
Or a brother's hug.
Maybe it's a friends tears.
Or a sister's home cooking.
A child's hand sliding into yours.
Is it something you can touch?
And feel
And embrace?
Perhaps love is spirit.
Not so much something you can touch.
But it IS something you know.
A fact.
Yet, it's nothing anyone can touch.
It's like the connection that
Occurs when you look into someone else's eyes.
Eye contact is an acknowledgment of the soul.
You exist. You hurt. You bleed.
By looking into my eyes
You tell me you see me.
Love is not sex.
Though sex is a part of it.
Love runs deeper than an orgasm
Or kiss.
It's a river that runs through one person
And overflows to another.
Spirit.
It's perhaps the purest motivator of human action.
We all seek it out in one form or another.
From one person or another.
It's not hearts and happiness.
It's not butterflies and rainbows.
Love runs deeper than
Momentary flutters
Initial head over heels flight.
Though.
Those are a part of it.
It ties us together
And it rips us apart.
Love opens our hearts and
Breaks them
In the same breath.
Our souls were made to love.
Yet.
We still can't touch love.
We can't grasp the depth of
Love.
It is a comfort.
That I can't find the boundaries.
The limits of love.
That with love
You can
Hope
Dream
Believe
Grow
Live
And be comforted.

It's not so much being held as holding someone else.
It's not so much being safe as saving someone else.
It's not so much being treasured as treasuring.

I try and grasp the wings of the bird called
Love
Try and trap it and ask it questions
Understand it.
But I always end up throwing it back
Up into the air.
And

Let my own spirit overflow.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Snowed In

Well if you haven't heard about the snow in the Midwest yet, now you have!

Winter storms overtook us this week as the sky dumped a lot of snow on us. Schools were closed, the mall was closed, and cars were stuck.

In any case, this season I am happy to be in town for the Christmas time. There's something about Christmas songs and Christmas feelings and Christmas miracles that make me feel peace and awe.

It's even more relevant when there's snow on the ground and the air is sharp and cold. Scarves and hats and gloves and boots and snow forts abound. I missed all of those things last year. The feeling that winter was ushering in Christmas. Perhaps I should just admit to myself that I will always love the Midwest. The fields and the land and the sky and the snow. Looking out across it all and feeling a sense of belonging. Even though I grew up in the city, I find myself more and more enchanted with the opposite. Where I work is surrounded by fields and I can look out of the window in the morning, as I'm preparing for the children, and watch the sunrise across the flat fields. It may not sound very interesting, but to me it's beautiful.

My heart is content this Christmas season. I feel that footing I lost last year has been slowly regained inch by inch and in my life and my relationship that has been a good thing. It's funny to think about a year ago now, how unsettled, worried, anxious, and overwhelmed I felt. My future, my goals, my relationship, my plans, all seemed uncertain. It's been so nice to be a bit settled in a job I enjoy with kids that bring me smiles everyday. It's also been great to set new goals for myself and to really take steps to work toward career goals I didn't know I really had.

All in all, it's been a difficult year, but not one I regret.

I think I have a lot of hope. A lot of smiles. A lot of joy. Left in me to live out. I hope you do too.