Can I?

life is funny.

things can change so fast. jobs. friends. locations. popular music. a home can burn down. a house can be built. friendships can be started and relationships can end. you can lose a job. a new job can reenergize. our looks can be covered up or spliced off. we can get nose jobs. boob jobs. piercings. tattoes. we can lose our family. we can lose our hairbrush.

the point is.

life changes. we change. our outsides and our insides. we change our thoughts, views, perspectives, and ideas. We change our passions.

Parts of this are beautiful. The changes that come grow us into better and more mature people.

Parts of this are ugly. Sometimes these things bring out the worst in us despite our best efforts.

It's like we go through times of deep growing pains. Everything seems uncomfortable and hurts and like we just don't quite fit. Seasons of these times come and go. And it hurts. It hurts so much sometimes to have to grow up. To realize more of the world is possibly cruel than good.

My scared little wings are finally getting the courage to stretch out. I don't want to hope that I can possibly fly, because I am so scared of falling. But I feel them stretching out all the same. I can only hide for so long. I miss flying. I miss being myself. And finding joy in simple things. I miss my smile. I miss feeling free.

I am the only one who has the power to clip my wings.

I am looking back at my wings, watching them stretch out on their own accord. Part of me is looking with fear and part of me is saying no to the fear every time they stretch out a little bit more. I don't know exactly what it all means. But it is how I feel.

"Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world.

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old." Snow Patrol Lyrics.

I hope as change comes, that it brings out the best in us. I hope finally we can see each other's wings instead of the fear in each other's eyes. It is not too much to hope that maybe, just maybe we can fly together.

Fly with us.