Drops in the Bucket

It's funny how some days are so pure
It seems they are sent from heaven.
They are the days you never want to end.
Days where love is exchanged
As well as laughter, stories, and pains.
Sitting by a river and talking.
Dangling feet.
Other days seem like drops in the
Just be over now bucket.
Painful. Hard.
Days when the past seems to rule over you and
You can't get out.
I'm thankful for the days that happened this week.
The pure ones and the discard ones.
It's hard to be reminded of a season and a time.
Questions seem to be a common factor in life.
I am left again with many questions.
Parts of me are still that girl.
The one that gets quiet and stubborn.
The one that wallows when
I could be joyful.
And so many more things.
In retrospect
I think I am realizing
That I really haven't had to
Come to terms with myself lately.
To take a good look inside and admit
The things, both good and bad,
That still lurk there.
Even though it's painful,
It's also healthy
To know those things.
I know that those close to me never have
And won't give up on me.
This is encouragement.
As I sift through the things
That I've left on the shelf for so long.
I must admit that even more than mistakes,
Are things I do intentionally
That are not the best for me
Or those I'm close too.
We all are this way to some extent.
But as the commercials say
I want to be one less person.
One less person to leave my crap on the shelf
And not deal with it.
I don't want to walk around stuck with all this stuff
That I haven't addressed.
Taking a good look at yourself
Is never easy.
Something gross is always bound to pop up.
But it doesn't mean
You are unloveable
Or unworthy.
I think once those things are off the shelf and in my journal,
I can get back to having consistent
Days.
Days that are pure.
Days that I won't want to end.
This process took a lot of work the first time around,
But in the end I came out stronger.
And almost every day,
Was a good day.