Love & Sorrow

It's in a mutual look
Arms around me
A brush of a kiss on my cheek
On my lips.
It's when
I'd rather eat in my car
With him
Than be comfy at home
On the couch.
It's when.
I am content
To be together.
After a whole weekend
Of togetherness.
Sometimes I wonder.
If I'm still actually really in love.
Or not.
But then there are moments
When without a doubt
I am in love.
And I wouldn't trade the world.
We're in this together.
I hope we change some corner of the world
Together.

In other news:

Mother's day is coming. And so what of it?
You know I would buy her
Flowers and chocolate.
Her favorite kind.
But her time ran out.
And I feel like one of those grains of sand
Left on the bottom.
Covered by a life that has ran out.
If only.
So many if onlys.
As though I could have done something
Anything
To slow it down.
Yet I only have the faintest memories
And even those have begun to fade.
You move through my dreams and memories
I strain to hear your voice in my ear
A mother's whispering
And unconditional love.
Would you say
You are proud of me?
Would you give
Me a hug?
Would you write me a postcard
From heaven?
Yet I know.
questions that will remain questions
And the storm rising inside of me
Will remain my entire life.
No one has ever measured up
To the role you played in
My life.
Sometimes I still look for you
In glimpses of other
Women.
But you are unfindable.
I must again
Grieve.
Lost.
Gone.
My tears have yet to run dry.