Anger Dream

I had a really vivid dream last night:

I dreamed I was a student in this class and we were working on maps or something. I went to the bathroom to take a break and came back to find my class had moved. I went looking for my class and found them. I eyed my teacher out of the corner of my eye to see if he'd noticed how long I'd truly been gone. He was oblivious. I sat down in a chair at this table the rest of my class was at. I remember that we were supposed to draw arrows by California, one pointing North and the other South. I had a lot of trouble with these arrows.

I made some comment about something to which my brother replied, Jill you are so dumb.

At this I became extremely upset. I told him I didn't like that he would make fun of me in front of my friends, I was yelling at him at this point. And that it was one thing to make fun of me when no one else was around, but it's another thing to make fun of me in front of all these people and that I didn't appreciate it. I started sobbing. Right at this moment I dreamed my dad was looking into the room and walking toward my brother. I went to the bathroom to cry and calm down. And then I woke up. Still feeling a torment of emotions.

I've been thinking a lot about anger lately. Some of the kids at school only know how to deal with hurt and other problems by flashing immediately to anger. It's hard to believe, they are good kids, when all you see in them is flashing anger.

Perhaps this was me testing out what it would be like to express myself in a similar fashion those kids do, which I sometimes see as very childish. Also, perhaps I should feel that God should intervene and chastise those of His children who abuse the abilities and powers they have through putting others down. Just like when my dad came in the picture, even though most of me knew my dad wasn't going to fix it. Students often think that I as the teacher will fix their conflicts but when I am unable to do so, will turn their anger toward me. Or as I was thinking of a fellow sub who had experienced a great deal of anger from a class. It's interesting.

I talked to a friend yesterday about how anger can turn someone you treasure and love into a scary person. Perhaps I had this dream to better understand why someone I loved could get so angry.

All in all. I just hope this dream doesn't visit me again.