Mirror to My Sin

OK so I was totally going to write this tomorrow, but words keep flowing into my head and I wanted to get it out.

A friend mentioned to me a couple days ago how marriage and being married and having a spouse can be like a mirror to your sin. You mess up. They get hurt. You see the consequences blatantly in how your relationship is affected. I never thought about this until today.

You see, when I am student teaching, there is ALWAYS another adult in the room, and if they are not in the room, they have the right to walk in ANYTIME. In other words, if I make a mistake, this other person knows it. And calls me out on it. Because they want me to be the best teacher I can be.

Yet. It is NOT easy. It's not easy feeling like every time you do or say something wrong, that other person is going to know about it. And most likely say something about it.

The worst has been unintentionally hurting that other person with careless words. And having that other person have to pull me aside and talk to me about it. I don't mind that they pulled me aside or talked to me about it, what is hard is seeing how my sin affects them. How it affects my relationship to them.

I can't help but think that marriage is like that. If you come home to that person every night and are with them a lot and they know you well, then they are going to know you in your most sinful moments. They are going to be hurt by you. They might cry because you say something in a careless moment that completely hurt them. And you didn't even mean to hurt them. I've also heard it said that those we hurt most are those closest to us.

Perhaps this is preparation. It's practice of how to see someone every day and learn to accept their correction and their advice. As well as learning how much my words can affect someone else in ways I didn't even intend. I know I'm learning this the hard way. Think before you speak in all situations. If you need time. Take that time and go back to it. Think about how it might affect others.

If it's already said, apologize once, no excuses, and pray that your relationship might be healed. And learn.

Yup. Mirrors are not always fun things to have around, but they do make me grateful for the grace that I am daily given.